Breaking: Donald J. Trump Poised to Become First U.S. Emperor

I’m going to attempt the conspiracy theory thing.

Joel Eisenberg


Mussolini Redux

The Set-Up

Speaking to a friend yesterday.

“You play chess,” he said. “Figure it out.”

So I drew a few deep breaths to manage my anger and, as if engaged in a chess game, logically considered the entirety of this week’s more-chaotic-than-usual Trump affairs.

Whether he was wandering mask-less back at the White House while pumped up on steroids for his Covid, or he was steroid-cycling for the next Biden debate and in the beginning throes of roid-rage, I think I know what’s going on there.

In fact, I’d bet on it.

I believe Trump’s sincere goal is to split the country and run as large a faction as possible under Trumpism. That’s all. This way, he’d be protected from his myriad legal issues as his most loyal and armed base would most assuredly have his back. From Trump’s Army set to (try to) intimidate voters at the ballot box in four weeks, to his addressing only his sycophants while consistently excoriating the “liberal left” … that’s the goal.

Clear as day.

If he wins the election, the dynasty has already begun in his mind and a member of his family assumes the mantle when he dies. If he loses, he takes his ardent followers with him and continues onward … still the President to his loyalists who now refer to him alternately as “Lord Trump” and “Padishah Emperor,” the latter because they saw a commercial for the upcoming “Dune” film and figured it sounded smart.

And the dynasty begins from there while he dogwhistles about a “coup” as he “never lost the election.” Until then, we have TWO nations, one under God (Trump) with liberty and justice for all (of their individual members).

Would that most loyal and armed base accept anyone else as President?

I don’t think I’m far off. When I take emotion out of the picture, this is all that’s left.

Argue with me.

Note: The preceding was only partially satirical … Just ask him.

Emperor Trump, 2021



Joel Eisenberg

Joel Eisenberg is an award-winning author, screenwriter, and producer. The Oscar in the profile pic isn’t his but he’s scheming. WGA and Pen America member.