“Don’t Ever Let Go”

Thomas Wolfe was wrong. You ‘can’ go home again.

The author and Barbara Herman, 1982

Introduction

In 1981, I promised — for the first of many times to come — someone I loved I would never let go.

In 1984, I broke that oft-repeated promise.

I spent the next 16 years living in regret and unfavorably comparing everyone I dated to my lost love.

In 2000, I broke that streak and met my future wife. She broke the mold, in every way.

In 2020, my ex lost her husband of 32 years to long-term complications of a hemorrhagic stroke. She was his caregiver for the last 19 years of their marriage, all the while keeping a roof over their two daughters’ heads and food in their bellies.

In 2023, I experienced my own personal tragedy of the likes I believed only happened to other people: I unexpectedly lost my beloved wife of over 22 years to complications of a ruptured brain aneurysm.

Lorie Girsh-Eisenberg was 66 when she died. She exhibited no symptoms of illness, and certainly no signs of brain irregularity. She died just over five days following her first of two hemorrhagic strokes.

I spent the rest of that year, and the majority of 2024, writing article after article on Medium from bed as I openly processed my grief…