“I Am a 21-Year-Old Sex Addict Who Slept With 5000 Women … and You Can Too!”
The brilliance and the trash of clickbait mongering.
Clickbait, especially in the pandemic era when our day to day is a bit more … boring, adds a bit of spice to life.
Doesn’t it, though?
Some of what follows are from well-known companies who have mastered the art of the direct sale. Others are from individuals and mom-and-pop entities striving to capture attention. Which examples below are effective, and which are not, are matters of personal opinion.
We’ll proceed with a collection of 50 favorite clickbait-ish email subject lines I received over the last five years, which had been printed and saved in a folder I had completely forgotten about until a recent house cleaning.
Once I was going to write a book on it all.
For now, this list will have to suffice …
- I Am a 21-Year-Old Sex Addict Who Slept With 5000 Women … and You Can Too!
- Congratulations! You’ve Been Nominated for Woman of the Year! (Note: I’m a dude.)
- How to Earn a Million Dollars in Three Weeks by Quitting Your Day Job and Doing This One Simple Exercise (Note: The “exercise” was investing in a pyramid scheme.)
- Last Reminder: Sign Application NOW for $10,000 Forgivable Loan. Accept Funds Within 24 Hours.
- You Are Pre-Approved For Greatness! Details Below!
- Your New Pillow Will Transform Your Spouse Into a Sexual Beast!
- How Pairing Dark Chocolate and Pumpkin Will Make Cellulite Disappear
- Write Your Book or Screenplay in Less Than a Week With Our Patented Dictation Program
- Maintain a Killer Erection Naturally and Never Need Viagra Again!
- Donald Trump Wants to Meet You For Lunch TODAY! (Note: In other words, donate to his campaign and your name will allegedly be placed in a drawing.)
- Have You Tried ‘Sonic’ Sex? If Not, You’re Missing Out …
- Do You Suffer From Bloating or Gas? Read About the Miracle Scientific Grapefruit Cure.
- Shocking News! If You’re Curious, Read On!
- Smash Taboos. You’ve Been Invited to Our Lovemaking Intensive …
- The World’s Richest Man Reveals His Big Secret. It’s Not What You Think.
- Survival Techniques of the Fittest Will Kill You If You Don’t Take Advantage of This One Simple Tool
- Petitioners Wanted. Vegans are Destroying the Farming Industry.
- You Asked For It: CBD Brownies For Overweight Arthritis Sufferers
- This is Why Your Pet Follows You Into the Bathroom. Who Knew?
- Regain Your Killer Figure This Yom Kippur. Here’s How to Fast Right!
- She Stared Me Down. What Happened Next Blew My Mind.
- Is THIS the Worst Sin Ever?
- Brad Pitt Was Once Considered the Ugliest Man in America. His Heartbreaking Story Will Make You Love Him Even More.
- UFOs Exist. This Evidence Will Shake You to Your Core.
- THIS is What Happened When Julian Did 10 Pushups a Day
- NASA Responds to Rumors They’ve Found Alien Life (Note: They said they found no alien life.)
- Did NASA Secretly Send an American to Mars? Read On!
- Was John Paul Getty Killed by Howard Hughes? You’ll Never Believe What We Found Out.
- Selena Gomez Has Something Stunning to Say About Justin Bieber’s Engagement. (Note: She said she had “no comment.”)
- Trump Finally Tells the Truth! Read On For the Shocking Details!
- This Sad Truth About Mark Ruffalo Will Leave You In Tears (Note: The actor suffered a horrific family tragedy, but you had to read through 20 pages of puffery to get there.)
- These Foods Can Get You Pregnant
- Ten-Year-Old Prodigy Explains the Secrets of the Universe
- I Seeded My Grass With Vitamin Supplements. What Happened Next I Never Expected!
- The Affair that Changed the Movie Industry Forever
- Porn. Not Just For Movies Anymore.
- Pro Wrestling’s Biggest Star Is NOT Who You Think He Is. Caution: This Article is NOT For the Faint of Heart.
- EXCLUSIVE: Why This Top Movie Star is Considering Gender Reassignment Surgery For His Next Film
- Oh No, Your Prescription is Being Discontinued. Click Here NOW!
- You Have 2 Hours to Extend Your Penis. The Clock is Ticking!
- Where to Find Great Beer During the Pandemic
- Need a Day at the Beach? Just Scratch n’Sniff Your Way to Paradise (Travelocity)
- Your A** Will Look Amazing in These Workout Pants
- The Path to Great Sex. Get Priority Access NOW!
- Let Me Introduce You to Your New Financial Freedom
- Stop Wasting Money on Food. Learn From These Former Astronauts.
- GREAT NEWS! Your Mortgage Has Been Paid! (Note: A come-on about ordering a program to make money to purchase a house.)
- Seriously, Who Does THIS?
- Make Them Believe You’re a God With This Simple Technique …
- Lose Pounds Fast on the Pizza Diet!
They go on and on and on …
Do you regularly receive come-on emails with clickbait subject lines? Let me know in the comments.
Thank you for reading.
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