If I Was a Son of a Bitch I Could Earn a Million Dollars By the End of the Week

10 More Common Sales Scams, Part Two of a Series …

Joel Eisenberg

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I posted the following article earlier this week and it struck a nerve:

Consider this one a sequel.

10 More Common Sales Scams That Scream “Rip-Off!”

Note: I have had personal experience with each and every one of the nonsense schemes as listed below. Not as a salesperson, but as a prospect who used to be a salesperson and knows better.

  1. Your doorbell rings. A complete stranger, usually flashing a placard or wearing a uniform that appears official, solicits a donation or sale from you. For example, he or she mentions the end of your driveway is about to be painted for clarity (“for a one-time fee”), or attempts to sell you on a new alarm system. As you explain your lack of interest, a partner of said salesperson is wandering in your backyard and looking through your windows. The next day, your house has been broken into. This scenario, by way of explanation, is the number one reason behind home invasion robberies in my city. Play it safe and do not accept door-to-door solicitations. And, if you believe this does not happen in apartments … you are wrong. If you are above the first floor, typically the salesperson will have a partner behind him to scope your place while your door is open.
  2. Be wary of any radio or television commercial selling you a product where a narrator speed reads the “small print,” which you cannot decipher, at its conclusion. This is done in the event the person/persons/company behind the commercial find themselves in legal trouble, due to a non-working product, or false advertising. The “small print’ can be something as simple as explaining “results are not guaranteed” to “this product is for entertainment purposes only” after preceding with nearly 30 or 60 seconds of dubious claims (or more in the event of an infomercial). The entity responsible for said advertising…

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Joel Eisenberg

Joel Eisenberg is an award-winning author, screenwriter, and producer. The Oscar in the profile pic isn’t his but he’s scheming. WGA and Pen America member.