“If She Receives Help, She May Leave Me Sooner” Means the Issue is You

Co-dependency will only hurt you both

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  • You tend to stay around longer than you believe most anyone else would;
  • You find yourself doing notable things, including losing your temper as you cannot take anymore and returning the disrespect, that are against your grain;
  • You are embarrassed to go out in public as a couple, but you do so anyway;
  • You sincerely try to make things better, regardless of personal cost;
  • During those times (hours? days?) when your relationship is good and on an even-footing, you get your hopes up that such good cheer will continue, and you crash when it does not;
  • Ask yourself why you do not want your partner to leave;
  • You repeat cycles, perhaps threatening to leave, but you never do. And neither does your partner, who threatens the same;
  • During this period of the Covid-19 pandemic, all of the above issues have become exacerbated during your self-quarantine or quarantine with your partner.
  • End the relationship, which will not be easy;
  • Consider individual therapy, following by couples therapy if deemed professionally necessary;
  • Write a list of pros and cons of your relationship, and refer to it often. Ask yourself which is the larger list, and consider what to do as a result;
  • Most importantly, recognize that help is out there, elsewhere, if you prefer to remain anonymous to family and friends. See here:

Joel Eisenberg is an award-winning author, screenwriter, and producer. The Oscar in the profile pic isn’t his but he’s scheming. WGA and Pen America member.

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