Masturbation, Gun Culture, and the Fantasy of the Armed Teacher

Joel Eisenberg
5 min readNov 9, 2019

Regardless of license and experience, arming classroom teachers is a recipe for disaster.

I’m human. I’ve done it. Lost count of the frequency, sorry. Chances are, you’ve done it too. Seinfeld made a game of it.

But as a former schoolteacher, the only gun I’ve ever publicly jerked from my pants was plastic, filled with water, and…

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Joel Eisenberg

Joel Eisenberg is an award-winning author, screenwriter, and producer. The Oscar in the profile pic isn’t his but he’s scheming. WGA and Pen America member.