Never Judge a Man Who Cannot Eulogize His Significant Other; His Heart May Be Bigger Than You Think.
I eulogized my wife. Some men ask a proxy. It’s all okay.
Delivering the concluding eulogy at my wife’s funeral was for me an exercise in necessity.
I would never expect this exercise to be necessary for every man.
In a recent article for Medium, I elucidated the extent of my personal losses of family and friends over the years. See here for “Stepping Up in the Face of Personal Tragedy.”
The reason I eulogized my wife was not because I loved her dearly for our near 24-year union, which I did, but because I was most always the first person called upon to eulogize other lost loved ones.
For me, there was no other choice. I lost a great love and in many ways the most significant person in my life. Though there are, of course, no rules to any of this, I would have felt remiss if I could do for others but could not do for her.
And so through heartbreak and tears, I practiced my eulogy in front of a mirror for the four days following Lorie’s passing. I elected to deliver my eulogy extemporaneously, much against the wishes of the rabbi who tried to convince me — based on his experiences with other spouses in mourning —…
