Member-only story
Regaining Balance Following the Loss of a Great Romance
Though I’ve written substantively about the passing of my wife, grieving while both partners are still living can be an equal challenge.
The final words of the above subtitle were phrased with particular care. Specifically, “… can be an equal challenge.”
Can be being the term to which I want to call attention, as I do not in any way want to discount the loss of a romance caused by the death of a partner.
A difficult truth, though, remains: On my assumption the majority of you have experienced a breakup at least once in your lives, regardless of tenor, it can certainly feel as though your world has come to an end.
And that often causes the end of a heartfelt romance to very much feel like a death.
Extreme grief, and loss of a sense of self, frequently commences.
I was 21 when burdened with my first breakup. It happened during my last year in college, and though amicable and triggered by a wholly legitimate reason I was heartbroken. It took me 16 years before I met my wife to effectively recover. In recent months — some 40 years following my college breakup and in a turn of events that could best be considered remarkable — that same college relationship may be on the verge of being renewed.
See here for my recent Medium story on the matter:
In my 16 years of recovery, as I discussed in the above story, I unfairly and unfavorably compared every woman I dated to my ex.
As with my wife all those years later, we experienced a certain bond and joy I believed I would never find again.
This belief would prove to be a valuable lesson when it came to regaining a sense of balance.
Why?
Because the belief was steadfast and yet would go on to be proven wrong, not once but twice.
