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The Single Greatest Challenge of Beginning a New Romance After the Death of a Partner
The answer is based on the concepts of mutual understanding and acceptance.
Introduction
No one wants to be “second best,” especially when it comes to matters of the heart.
Unfortunately, I speak from personal experience as many of my readers here know I am a widower of just under nine months. Last November, I unexpectedly lost my wife of nearly 23 years to the bursting of an undetected aneurysm that led to a fatal hemorrhagic stroke.
Today, though, I find myself reconnected with someone from my past who four years ago lost her husband due to similar circumstances. A renewed romance is in the offing, which has stunned us both, though to now our communication has primarily been through phone calls and FaceTime.
We will be seeing each other in-person for the first time in 41 years this October, and we had spent the last several months — first as friends prior to the change of tenor of our talks — discussing the precise topic of this article.
As she is now a new Medium member I will leave it to her to identify herself and tell the rest of the tale as it plays out.
Primary among our discussions to this point, as we explore a future together, has been the following mutual contemplation: When opening oneself to a new (or renewed) romantic relationship following the passing of a long-term partner, one must be prepared for feelings of jealousy and/or competition on behalf of the new partner.
How then, does a survivor circumvent this potential awkwardness while striving to move forward?
More pointedly, how does a survivor move forward at all under that substantial cloud?
I believe this to be a survivor‘s greatest challenge.
I will share with you what I’ve learned from my recent personal experience while attempting to elucidate some common psychology between both parties.
Considerations
There are several considerations that should be analyzed by the survivor prior to engaging in a new relationship:
