Top 25 Reasons Why I’m an Old Geek
It is what it is. So, without further ado …
1. ‘Star Wars’
Star Wars is just about the greatest thing ever. When I was 13 and saw what’s now A New Hope for the first time, my legs became completely numb and I couldn’t leave my seat for five minutes after the credits. The ongoing saga has since become my bible. Only sex would come before. No pun intended.
2. ‘Famous Monsters’
The original run of Famous Monsters is the single greatest magazine ever published. Still. 4SJ, you are missed.
3. ‘Tales from the Crypt’ and ‘Weird Tales’
I would sooner read old issues of Tales from the Crypt and Weird Tales than eat.
4. ‘Planet of the Apes’
I would so live on a Planet of the Apes, as lately I trust them more than us. I’m firmly on Team Caesar.
5. The Single Greatest Crime in Oscar History to Now:
Andy Serkis has never been nominated. Second greatest is E.T. beating Blade Runner for special effects, tied with Star Wars losing Best Pic of 1977 to Annie Hall.
6. I couldn’t sleep for days when Larry Zybysko turned heel on Bruno Sammartino.
Old WWWF, now WWE, for those of you who don’t get the reference. Yes, pro wrestling was actually exciting once.
7. ‘Mr. Robot’
Mr. Robot is the one existing television show for which I would love to write.
8. ‘The Six Million Dollar Man’ and ‘The Bionic Woman’
The Six Million Dollar Man and The Bionic Woman will always rock. Steve Austin’s leisure suits were the best on the market, but he did seem allergic to buttoning his top three buttons of any shirt.
9. Spoken Word and Horror Albums
I actually listen to spoken word old horror albums and radio shows in my spare time.
10. ‘Daredevil’ #181
Daredevil #181 is the single greatest comic book issue created by a human. It is one of the 10 finest pieces of literature imo.
11. ‘Heavy Metal’
The first Heavy Metal movie is better than drugs. If I was a user and watching, I’d be in serious trouble.
12. Shirley Jackson’s ‘The Haunting of Hill House’
Nearly 45 years later, I’m still telling the story of how I was able to write a book report on Shirley Jackson’s The Haunting of Hill House for junior high school. I was failing, in danger of being left back, and my dad manipulated a deal with my teacher if I completed a report on a book I “liked,” as long as the work was “exceptional,” she’d pass me.
13. I’m still upset at the time my then Rabbi confused Mr. Spock, the Vulcan, with Dr. Spock, the baby doctor.
Long story. Nearly traumatized me as a kid. And then, wouldn’t you know, over 40 years later someone who writes for Big Bang Theory read my Facebook account on the matter. One night, I was watching TV, and …
14. I firmly believe Stephen King deserves a Pulitzer for Lifetime Achievement.
Is there a Pulitzer given for Lifetime Achievement? I have no clue, and I’m too lazy at the moment to look it up.
15. ‘Halloween,’ ‘Dawn of the Dead,’ and ‘The Texas Chainsaw Massacre’
Halloween, Dawn of the Dead, and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre — the originals comprise some of cinema’s greatest moments. Why? They were the templates of not only gore films, but of modern-day horror movies.
16. ‘The Exorcist’
The Exorcist is the most spiritual film ever made. Period. End of story.
17. ‘Hulk v Superman’
I still want to see a Hulk v Superman film.
18. Eminem’s ‘Stan’
Eminem’s Stan is one of the greatest songs ever written.
I’m a writer and television producer. I wake up at 2 AM every morning. I usually have Rocky films on my television as I’m working during those insane hours.
Coffee and Rocky movies at that hour will get your blood going for sure.
20. Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein and Bram Stoker’s Dracula are the two greatest novels ever written.
Frank Herbert’s Dune rounds out the top three.
21. When I like a book, I tend to talk about it for weeks.
When I like a book, I tend to talk about it for weeks. When I like a film, I tend to talk about it for weeks. When I like a television program…
Lestat is one of literature’s great creations. Thank you, Anne.
23. I learn more from reading science fiction novels and comic books than I do by watching the television news.
That said, I’m addicted to politics, but I believe many of the answers as to what ails us are found in our science fiction.
24. Billy Jack
I would totally vote for Billy Jack as President, and —
25. Howard Stern
Many moons ago, I waited on line at the Chinese Theater, with friends, for 25 and a half hours for The Phantom Menace (ugh) and over 13 hours on line to meet Howard Stern at a Miss America book signing in Westwood.
All sad but true. And you?
What makes you a geek, old or otherwise?
Originally published at geeks.media.