When Life Events Most Take For Granted Do Not Go As Planned For You

For my wife and I, the love and longing for children were there but neither conception nor adoption was successful.

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Image Courtesy of Harvard Medical School

Case Study

“You can’t always get what you want.” — The Rolling Stones

I may as well go personal.

10 Steps To “Catch” Life’s Greatest Curveballs

As you read this, think about what you have not been able to accomplish, for whatever reason, in your own life.

  1. Proceed as though your pain is only temporary. After awhile, you will discover that life resumes much as it marched on before. An example: I lost my dad, my best friend, nearly a decade ago. I was frozen for awhile … and though I think about him every day and I still cry when I need to, I’ve been able to move on with my life when I once thought that would be impossible.
  2. Change your routine. I’ve said this before in other articles about life events. Take a vacation. Take a weekend. Begin an exercise routine. Move. Take “me” time and do what you must to refresh. Returning with a new attitude is a typical result. After our adoption debacle, my wife and I went to New York for a week to get away from it all.
  3. Practice Mindfulness. Meditate. Read a self-help book that relates to your circumstance. Spend some time thinking, and move on from there.
  4. Create a back-up plan. Here’s an example: A friend was in a car accident and having surgery on his spine. If the surgery was a success, my friend would be able to walk as before. If not, he would likely be confined to a wheelchair. Today, from his wheelchair, he coaches adaptive basketball. The surgery did not take, and my friend did not give up. Life has gone on because he accepted both possibilities.
  5. Speak openly to others. You may be surprised by how many will relate to you, and the valuable advice you may receive.
  6. Don’t give up. What’s the point? Seriously, answer that.
  7. Consider what good you can do for others. Again, you may be surprised at how many people will listen to you if you honestly converse with them and offer the gift of your experience.
  8. Reinvent yourself. My wife moved out to Los Angeles from Detroit in the mid-80s. She moved to the west coast to become a TV producer, but bills beckoned and she became a pharmaceutical sales rep. Several years ago, the company she was working for closed. After a few years of, as she says, “professionally finding” herself, she finally became a producer with her first show presently airing on Amazon Prime — “Then Again with Herbie J Pilato.” (Cheap plug entirely deliberate.)
  9. Try again. Your goal may not work out on second try — or it may — but if you have nothing to lose why don’t you give yourself (at least) one more shot? We’re on this planet for a brief time, and the older we get the quicker that time seems to pass. Why not try again?

Written by

Joel Eisenberg is an award-winning author, screenwriter, and producer. The Oscar in the profile pic isn’t his but he’s scheming. WGA and Pen America member.

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