You Will be Treated Differently When a Spouse Dies, But You are Not a Freak
The same will apply upon the passing of an unmarried significant other. People will mean well, but you may want to be prepared.
When I lost my wife last November to complications from a major hemorrhagic stroke, amidst the subsequent scores of condolence messages and occasional awkwardness among them was an undercurrent of probing for further information.
Sometimes, I just wanted to hide.
At other times, I felt I was being needlessly paranoid.
Then, however, I elected to speak to others who have lost spouses or significant others. What quickly became apparent was most of them were able to relate.
Sure, in my case I was asked the usual well-meaning questions about how I was feeling, for example, and made the usual offers of calling to talk at any time of the day or night if I so needed.
All good and appreciated, there.
I was also, though, the subject of finger-pointing and shifty eyes during large gatherings.
When I approached and engaged conversations, I began to feel like the subject of a science experiment.
