Your Abuser is Not More Important Than You, Nor Will They Matter if You Do Not Give Them Your Power

Follow the steps below to stay safe, sane, and aware.

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  • Do not be afraid to call the cops. Worrying about how the other person will react only places you in more jeopardy.
  • File for a restraining order against the other person, even if they live with you.
  • Work on yourself. Take classes. Read up on abuse and abusers. Speak to a therapist.
  • Be sure to call 911 if you believe your life is in imminent danger.
  • Never negotiate with an abuser. There is nothing to negotiate. Your life is what matters.
  • Carry your phone with you at all times. Keep it in your pocket.
  • Never agree to be abused. Sometimes, the abuser will try to convince you that you need to be “punished.” Do not buy into the manipulation.
  • Create a plan. Notify friends in advance if need be. If you believe your life or health is threatened, within that plan create a list of resources and friends you can contact. I would strongly suggest downloading a new “download” app, hide it among your other apps, and enter the information therein, so if the abuser manages to peek at your phone they will not find any text messages in the usual location.
  • Erase your phone records after each call for the same reason.

Joel Eisenberg is an award-winning author, screenwriter, and producer. The Oscar in the profile pic isn’t his but he’s scheming. WGA and Pen America member.

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